I Hope Your Car Floats

Have I mentioned lately that We Need A Flood? Not the annoying kind that causes you to spend your entire weekend wet vacuuming your basement, but one of biblical proportions where all the undeserving are washed out of existence.  Who gets to choose who survives you ask?  Well me of course, and I’ll tell you, the guy in the black Subaru I encountered this morning is not going to make the cut.

So to that guy, you keep chatting on your headset and drinking your cup of coffee without a cover while driving.  It is not impairing your driving at all.  No I mean that; I am not being sarcastic because I truly believe that you stopped your car right in front of the entrance to the gas station I was trying to access because you are a self important jerk, NOT because you were simply distracted. 

Why do I think this?  Because I have encountered others like you for my entire driving career, well before texting and cell phones.  You are the people that rush right by me and my patient blinker as I wait to pull out onto the main street.  You speed up so that I can’t pull out, even though you are going to a red light.  God forbid I get to it in front of you causing you to be one car further back in the long line.  Instead, you make me wait in the exit of the parking lot while you and everyone like you rushes by until eventually one of you morons actually stops right in front of me, blocking me in so that I have to wait for the light to turn green, all of you to drive away, and for the next break in the oncoming traffic which only occurs when the rare thoughtful driver happens by.

Unfortunately, there are a lot more drivers like the black Subaru guy on the road.  I have found them in traffic-ridden intersections.  They are the idiots who cause gridlock because they insist on trying to push their way through traffic instead of waiting their inconvenient turns.  Ultimately, they end up right smack in the middle of the intersection when their light turns red and mine turns green causing me to have to wait through a second cycle of the light while dozens of people behind me honk angrily because I am not moving.  “Where do you people want me to go? Up?”  I am not going to pull up into him because he is not going to be able to move until the people in front of him do.  And if I do go, I’ll be the moron blocking the intersection when the next light changes.

I won’t point out that when the light turns yellow you are supposed to stop if you can, but I will point out that if everyone in front of you is already stopped when it does and you can’t clear the intersection THEN, you won’t be able to clear it later when it turns red.  Again, something I would think of as common sense, and I honestly think it is.  These people CAN’T be that dumb, but some people are just that entitled.