Business Discourtesy

I didn't expect for both my husband and myself to remain unemployed for over a year, but that is what has happened.  You might find this hard to believe given the nature of this blog, but I am not someone who complains without acting. My general feeling about life is that if it is important enough to bitch about, it is important enough to do something about and I have very little tolerance for people who repetitively complain about the same person, thing, or circumstance without doing anything about it.  So although both the breadwinners in our family have been laid off for over a year, we have not sat back idly and moped.  We have sent out resumes, made cold calls, networked.  We have retrained, recertified and generally expanded our employment horizons.  We have started marketing ourselves for side jobs just to make something if not enough.  We have even begun researching opening our own business totally unrelated to our previous careers.  We have not been apathetic to our own cause.

            With all this effort you can see why I did not expect for us both to remain unemployed for this long.  The economy doesn’t surprise me.  It is the response of the employers that does.  That is why many of the employers I have encountered will not be allowed on the ark-so there!

            But seriously, to the company that held a four-hour interview and then ended with “Call on Friday we should have an answer by then.”  I hope you know more about water survival than you do about business courtesy.  You do not tell someone to call you and then avoid his call…five times.  At the very least, when your secretary answers the second or third time in a week and a half, you could at least instruct her to notify unwanted candidates that the position has been filled instead of repeatedly putting us through to your voicemail where we will remain ignored indefinitely.

            And to the employer that had a seven hour interview equipped with meeting the president of the company, perhaps we are unemployed at the moment, but that doesn’t mean our time is invaluable and we are looking for ways to waste it.  Do not end a marathon interview like that with the words “ Well, we are not even sure there is going to be a position, but if there is we will certainly consider you for it.”  If you don’t know whether you have an opening, don’t hold interviews.  Surely you, the president of a Forbes 500 company, must have something more important to do than play-act with me all afternoon.

            To the many, many companies that post jobs but never respond to the collected resumes.  I get you are busy, good for you and good for the person you end up hiring to handle all that business. But couldn’t you at least acknowledge receipt?  Is it too much for the person answering the phone to say, “ Yes, Mr. Jones, we did receive your c.v. but the position is now filled?” Is it really?  There was a time when that would have been the very least you could do.  Remember the 90’s when companies would send out postcards to let you know they now had your resume on file?

            But the biggest surprise to me was this.  I didn't expect for employers to disregard us because we were over-qualified. Not because our salary requirements were too high (you lower those as time goes on until you’ll accept almost anything commiserate with your industry), not because we were jockeying for positions that were not available, but because they want to hire someone with less experience because they are afraid an experienced person will leave once the economy rebounds.  Let me tell you something, I’ll work for a much lower salary for a company that gives me a chance in this horrible economy. Then when the economy rebounds, all I expect is for you to pay me what I am worth to the company.  I am confident that once you have the money, you’ll find me worth every penny.  And I have some sense of loyalty.  I’ll be fair with you because you were willing to give me a chance, as long as you are fair with me.

            The puzzling thing is that their poor judgment shows, but apparently not enough to affect their choices. I am hearing more and more clients unhappy with the level of incompetence at these companies.  I am hearing many people complain about the ignorance of the staff they encounter.  And customer service?  I’ve covered that topic before, but suffice it to say that these poor hiring choices show most obviously with the people interacting with the public.  So to all you employers who claim we are “overqualified,” you hire under qualified idiots all the time, God forbid you err on the overqualified side of the spectrum.

            My message to all the companies that are continuing to stifle the economy by hiring only the very young and inexperienced, who by the way, are not going to help you grow your market share they way we could, I suggest you add flood insurance to your executive benefits package.

Please Shut Up

First, let me apologize for another unintended absence.  I have no excuse other than August has been a very busy month for me and although I have encountered plenty of blog worthy situations that all call for a rant, I have had to make note of them for future use.  That said, I am back and I am responding to a request for more rants on rude people.  Let me introduce you to the self-important know-it all (and yes, I know who you are, or at least who you think you are) who is the latest on my ark black list.

            So today I am sitting in a class for which I paid a significant amount in order to hear two experts speak.  It was a hot day, and I love to learn and so for those two reasons I sat in the front row; there was a fan and it is easier to see and pay attention when one is up front.

            Right off, I realize I have made the wrong seating choice.  I should have sat on the right hand side of the room, but instead I have planted myself directly in front of a woman who feels that she deserves as much airtime as the paid professionals.  At first, it is just an overly loud “uh-huh” or “that’s right” coming from behind me.  Then she begins to follow their points with points of her own.

            In a seminar that only lasted two hours and accommodated thirty participants, none of whom were asked to introduce themselves or say anything at all for that matter, I learned that this woman used to be a musician and also a consultant with her own training firm by the time she was 39, and that she now writes poetry, loves Thelma and Louise, and does not believe that Anna Karenina had an antagonist.  I probably would know a lot more about her but for the fact that after about three interruptions I began chanting “please shut up” silently in my head every time she opened her mouth.

            Unfortunately, I seem to run into her type frequently.  It is one thing to be stuck next to her at a dinner party or cornered by him in the doctor’s office where I have to hear what a wonderful dancer he believes himself to be, but when I pay to go hear experts speak, that is exactly what I want: to hear the experts speak. I don’t want to hear other participants, who may or may not know more than the rest of us, tell the entire paying populous what he or she thinks.  We don’t care about your opinion.  If we did, we’d have paid to see you!  As it stands, we paid to see the very polite persons (yes it is persons not people for those who are concerned with the deterioration of the English language- look for a future post on the dumbing down of America) who are indulging your diatribe during their scheduled speech and smiling politely while the rest of us, or at least myself, seethe at your rude self-indulgence.

            So to the woman at the seminar who was obviously craving everyone’s attention for some dysfunctional reason, next time you are in a situation where a number of persons have paid to hear another person or persons speak, please sit there quietly, take notes, and fight any and all urges you may have to put in your two cents.  We aren’t interested.

From Behind The Bathroom Stall

The latest ark admittance rejection goes out to the anonymous woman in the bathroom at Chucky Cheese.

            First of all, understand I have done pretty much everything in my power to avoid going to Chucky Cheese.  My eldest son has been asking for years (darn those commercials!).  But fortunately for me, the closest Chucky Cheese is about 45 minutes away and we never have occasion to be in that neighborhood.  So, as far as my kids knew, Chucky Cheese was just a place on TV. 

However, after a four hour car ride to our vacation destination with three children, two of whom had behaved okay although one or the other had talked incessantly throughout the whole trip, and one of whom had been exceptionally well behaved (using the bathroom when his brother needed to stop instead of making us stop again thirty minutes later, being absolutely silent when one or the other of his younger siblings was sleeping, handing things to those same younger siblings to help keep them occupied and happy and not once, no not ONCE in four hours ever asking are we there yet?  or complaining in any other manner) I decided to reward my oldest with dinner at Chucky Cheese. Ugh.

            So we went in and spent an exorbitant amount on a mediocre pizza and more tokens than three children 6,3 and 2 can use in an hour.  It was fun for them and it was nice to reward my six year-old for his good behavior.  I find that goes a lot further toward procuring more good behavior than yelling at the bad behavior, which unfortunately is my far too frequent disposition.  

Anyway, as we were getting ready to leave, it dawns on me that my two year-old needs a change.  My squirmy, strong willed, and devilish little girl needed a clean diaper.  What she really needs is potty training but that is a post for another time.  So, I take her in to change her and do my best to balance her on the courtesy changing table while securing the clean diaper and wipe container from the diaper bag.  I balance everything very strategically and start taking off her sneakers so I can get off her shorts and subsequent diaper to begin this oh so fun chore when she begins to squirm and turn and try to get off the 4 foot high table.

If you haven’t noticed from my posts, I am prone to venting, so I begin telling my two year-old that she needs to stop squirming and that this would be much easier if she would hold still. While trying to prevent her from wiggling her way right off the table onto the floor, I sternly say her name to get her attention and remind her that she could fall, and that on top of that, she isn’t making this any easier.  I am not angry nor have I raised my voice, I am merely talking my way through an otherwise frustrating situation.  I talk like this with and to my kids all the time. And despite what some well meaning people have told me, they do understand the word cooperation at two, they know what I mean and they can obey if they choose to.

 However, I talk my way through these situations more for my own sanity in order that I don’t grow so frustrated that I become angry.  It is my coping mechanism.  Anyway, I am talking my way through this very squirmy diaper change and what do I hear from the peanut gallery outside the door?  (yes someone felt the need to comment)  Someone outside a closed door, who could not be identified and therefore felt comfortable voicing her unsolicited opinion, shouted out “By the way, you sound like an idiot in there.”

My response?  “I’m sorry, I don’t remember asking your opinion.”  I was fuming.  Here I was talking with my daughter, not yelling, not saying anything inappropriate, but obviously struggling.  Instead of offering help like I might have done, this low rent buttinski decides to insult me.  I mean really?  Who asked you?  And where do you get off?

Now I have no way of knowing who this woman was or I assure you that I would have gone out and in as polite a tone as I could muster approach her and say something along the lines of  “I am terribly sorry if my telling my daughter to hold still in a diatribe that entertains her long enough to actually effectuate a diaper change sounded idiotic enough to you that you felt the need to comment, but perhaps in the future, you might consider holding your own counsel and making yourself useful instead of being so rude an ineffectual.”  I so wanted to say something like that to her.  I mean hello?  Have you BEEN to Chucky Cheese?  The whole reason I didn’t want to go there is because the non-parenting population frequents the place.  By that I mean, the parents that you hear me complain about regularly who do not watch or discipline their children but rather sit at their tables obliviously filling their faces while their children wreak havoc and they pretend they are not responsible for it.  This place is full of kids who are off the wall and parents that don’t bother to even TRY and control them and I am the one she feels the need to say something to? Please!  So to that obnoxious woman who must have been an employee not a mom (because any mom would understand the struggle I was undertaking and feel sympathy, if not relief that she wasn’t in my position) hush up. And while you are at it, get some courage, because if you feel strongly enough about something that you need to share your opinion with a perfect stranger at least have the fortitude to do it face to face not from behind a bathroom stall.

Whew!  I may not have gotten to say it directly to the offending person, but it sure feels better to get something like that off my chest.

Telephone Etiquette

People without the common courtesy to return phone calls are not coming on the ark.

            This drives me crazy, especially in business.  When I call a business contact, I leave a very comprehensive message explaining who I am, what I am calling about, and how I can be reached.  I leave specifics so that when you do return my call we are further along and can move more quickly.  I am not one for leaving only my name and number and leaving you guessing who I am, and what I want. That just results in an unproductive volley of phone tag.  If I am requesting information, I describe the specific information I am looking for and leave a number, a mailing address and an e-mail address so that you can forward that information in a timely manner.  If I am requesting a meeting, I explain the nature of the meeting I am hoping to schedule, leave a few potential times and dates, and again, I provide a few different ways to reach me.

            Why is it then that very often I am calling the same business contact over and over again without any response at all?  I get it, you are busy; we all are.  And while you readers are thinking it, no I am not in sales.  If I were that might explain the lack of response (although it would still be rude), but I am not, so I see only one explanation.  These people who don’t return my calls are simply too self important, feeling that their time is too precious to bother with common courtesy.  Well here is some news for you, you aren’t that special.  There are plenty of rude and unprofessional people just like you.  I have to track them down day after day.

            All I am asking is that you pick up the damn phone, or type off a simple e-mail; you can even have your assistant do it, but please get back to me.  It is not a lot to ask.

When I ran my own business, I had solicitations from many different people.  Some wanted to hire me, some wanted to sell me something and some wanted informational interviews, in essence those people wanted me to spend my valuable time teaching them something they felt I knew and from which they could learn.  Sometimes I was slow and I could accommodate those types of requests, and other times I was just too busy.  But every single time, I returned the phone call and gave the individual on the other end the respect of a timely response.

            For those of you who are etiquettely challenged, in business it is expected that you will return a phone call or e-mail within two business days. Although I leave very comprehensive messages, not everyone does and so you don’t necessarily know what you are jeopardizing by not showing respect to your callers.  Recently, I contacted a company because I wanted to pick the owner’s brain about a venture I am undertaking.  This person started a company doing exactly what I wanted to do and I left him a message stating I would really love to have a few minutes of his time to ask him some questions.  I expressed that I was not in an area that would compete with his business and I even offered to pay him a consulting fee.  Not only has he not responded to two separate messages, but also a woman in his company who I was able to reach, has been stringing me on for a meeting for over a month.  In that time, I have learned much of the information I was after, from other sources.  I am in a different place now, and will soon be in the market to purchase some of his wares for my own establishment.  But because he did not bother to return my calls, I am going to his smaller, but far more professional and accommodating competitor.  I feel really good about that.  Business karma.

So when the flood comes, if you are one of those people who can’t be bothered to return calls that don’t interest you, please leave a message at the tone, and I will respond to your request for admittance on the ark in the same timely manner with which you responded to me. 

Back To Bitching

Okay enough with the mushy stuff; that is not what you come to this blog for so lets get back to the bitching.  Today’s flood victim is the guy who was walking across the mall parking lot this morning.

Now I wasn’t in a particular hurry so I wasn’t already aggravated or anything, but as I was trying to pull around from one row to the next a gentleman was crossing the parking lot.  His chosen path intersected mine, or it could have anyway, were he to cross purposefully.  But instead he sauntered diagonally from his starting point to what I can only assume eventually brought him to his designation.  I say only assume because I could not have possibly stuck around long enough for him to make this great crossing.  I think Moses crossed the desert in less time than it took this man to cross the parking lot.

Personally, when I noticed a car coming, I would have stuck close to the building and walked the two sidewalks to get to where it appeared he was going.  He chose to walk literally right in front of me. Another option would have been for him to just stop for a moment and let me by, after all, a car moves much faster than a person on foot, but apparently he couldn’t wait.  No as I made my way down the end of one row, he walked right in front of me so that I had to follow him at walking speed to the end of the row and there where I could have turned left and he could have moved a little to the right, he chose not to and remained right in front of me.

Now maybe it is too much to ask that other pedestrians show the courtesy I do by actually speeding up their gait when they are in the pathway of a moving car. I’m not asking for a jog (although I have been known to do that to be polite) but is it really to much to ask that you don’t saunter as if you are out on a leisurely walk admiring the flora as you go?

Mind you, this was not an older man, or a disabled man, or even an obese man, this was a middle-aged man who maybe had a little extra weight around the middle, someone quite capable of walking quickly or even normally, but who chose to saunter.  I know I have repeated that word a few times already, but really there is no other word quite as accurate.  Walking is too quick a description for what he did, stroll as well, even mosey implies more speed than he exhibited.  Perhaps amble, maybe he meandered, but saunter is the right word because it describes not only his lack of speed, but also, I think, his lack of consideration.  He was sauntering, taking his time, ignoring that he was not alone on the “road”.  This man was going to take the most direct path to his destination and if it meant that a car had to crawl at a speed that doesn’t even register on the speedometer for a full three minutes (and I am not exaggerating), then too bad.

I know, three minutes out of my life and I wasn’t even in a particular hurry, but that isn’t the point.  The point is that this man was knowingly inconsiderate and I just don’t get it.  Would it really have been too much for him to step aside, or wait a few seconds (because yes, if I had been able to drive at the normal parking lot speed limit I would have rounded the corner in les than 30 seconds. Time yourself sometime and then just for fun make it take three minutes and see how excruciating it is) or God forbid, move a little more quickly and possibly burn a few extra calories. It’s not as if by inconveniencing me he got there faster, I think it actually took him longer than it would have if I weren’t there.

In my pregnant days when I was relegated to the couch more often than I liked, I would watch a lot of Dr. Phil, and one thing I always remember him asking people exhibiting negative behavior was “What is the payoff? What do you GET out of that behavior?” (see Dr, Phil's ten life laws) And really that is where my confusion comes from.  What do these rude, and entitled people get out of it?  I mean in these little instances like crossing slowly in front of my car instead of walking normally.  What possible payoff was in it for this guy? If you think you know, please tell me.

In the end, I waited until his path gave me enough space to pull around him into the next row, then I sped up as much as I safely could to let him know he was in my way.  Surprisingly, with a one-ton vehicle almost grazing him going relatively quickly for the venue, the man didn’t so much as flinch, or look over his shoulder. Maybe he was texting someone, but that is a rant for another day.

I Hope Your Car Floats

Have I mentioned lately that We Need A Flood? Not the annoying kind that causes you to spend your entire weekend wet vacuuming your basement, but one of biblical proportions where all the undeserving are washed out of existence.  Who gets to choose who survives you ask?  Well me of course, and I’ll tell you, the guy in the black Subaru I encountered this morning is not going to make the cut.

So to that guy, you keep chatting on your headset and drinking your cup of coffee without a cover while driving.  It is not impairing your driving at all.  No I mean that; I am not being sarcastic because I truly believe that you stopped your car right in front of the entrance to the gas station I was trying to access because you are a self important jerk, NOT because you were simply distracted. 

Why do I think this?  Because I have encountered others like you for my entire driving career, well before texting and cell phones.  You are the people that rush right by me and my patient blinker as I wait to pull out onto the main street.  You speed up so that I can’t pull out, even though you are going to a red light.  God forbid I get to it in front of you causing you to be one car further back in the long line.  Instead, you make me wait in the exit of the parking lot while you and everyone like you rushes by until eventually one of you morons actually stops right in front of me, blocking me in so that I have to wait for the light to turn green, all of you to drive away, and for the next break in the oncoming traffic which only occurs when the rare thoughtful driver happens by.

Unfortunately, there are a lot more drivers like the black Subaru guy on the road.  I have found them in traffic-ridden intersections.  They are the idiots who cause gridlock because they insist on trying to push their way through traffic instead of waiting their inconvenient turns.  Ultimately, they end up right smack in the middle of the intersection when their light turns red and mine turns green causing me to have to wait through a second cycle of the light while dozens of people behind me honk angrily because I am not moving.  “Where do you people want me to go? Up?”  I am not going to pull up into him because he is not going to be able to move until the people in front of him do.  And if I do go, I’ll be the moron blocking the intersection when the next light changes.

I won’t point out that when the light turns yellow you are supposed to stop if you can, but I will point out that if everyone in front of you is already stopped when it does and you can’t clear the intersection THEN, you won’t be able to clear it later when it turns red.  Again, something I would think of as common sense, and I honestly think it is.  These people CAN’T be that dumb, but some people are just that entitled.

Please and Thank You

If you read my Feel Good Friday post, you will understand the generation of this rant.  People with no manners are not getting on my ark.

 If, while walking up the gangplank and entering the ark, you drop the door in the face of the person behind you, you are automatically off the ship.  This happens to me on a daily basis and it drives me crazy.  Usually, if I have the baby in my arms and I jog toward the door when someone is walking in, that person will wait a couple of seconds and hold the door for me.  But, God forbid, I am alone and directly behind someone, more often than not they will drop the door in my face.

I mean really, don’t these people have mothers?  Didn’t anyone teach them basic manners like holding the door open for people?  How do you get past the age of ten without acquiring this basic skill?  I honestly don’t get it.  And although I have no way of knowing because I don’t actually follow these rude individuals around, I suspect they are the same people that will walk right through the door I have held open for them without so much as a thank you. 

            There was a time when a lack of manners would have been embarrassing, but people honestly don’t seem to care anymore.  I know this because I have tried to shame some of them to no avail.  If you are one of the people for whom I have held a door open and you have not shown the proper courtesy toward that action, you have most likely heard me utter a loud “your welcome” as you walked away.  Like wise, if you have dropped the door in my face, you have certainly heard and irritated “thank you” tossed in your direction. 

Very rarely does such a comment cause anyone to so much as pause, let alone turn around and apologize, but on occasion it does.  And although for a brief moment I will feel uncomfortable that I called them on their rudeness, I usually recover quickly because manners are really lacking in this area of our country and I think life was nicer when please and thank you were a common part of the vernacular.  I don’t think good manners should be limited to small children being prompted by their parents.  I don’t think please and thank you should have an expiration date of maturity (or in some cases even before then).  I think adults should lead by example and I think please and thank you, at the very least, should be automatic.

            So if you are one of the offenders listed above, please check out this link and thank you all very much for reading my blog today.

Common Courtesy RIP

We Need A Flood! Yes a flood. No I don’t mean the kind that ruins your basement and causes the president to issue a state of emergency where you live.  I mean one of biblical proportions where you have to build an ark and everyone who is not on it gets washed out of existence.  Who gets to choose who survives you ask?  Well me of course, and I’ll tell you, the other customers at Starbucks today do NOT get to come on board!

            No really please, have my seat.  I only left my computer, a book and a pen sitting next to it while I got up to get my coffee, but by all means, let me move everything because you are so self involved you didn’t notice. 

            I’ll take a new seat here next to the table with the two entitled moms who don’t seem to realize that their small children are pouring sugar all over another table and drawing in it, making a huge mess that I am sure they will leave behind for someone else to clean up.  “Honey don’t do that,” didn’t work five minutes ago, but you know, you go on sniping about a third person you are calling a friend although I have heard nicer things said about terrorist, and you let your daughters keep doing exactly what you just asked them not to because after all we wouldn’t want to interrupt your conversation.  It’s called parenting and sometimes it is inconvenient.  I know, I have three kids under 6, and you know what, not one of them would pour sugar all over a table, or scream loudly in a public place repeatedly.  You know why?  Because I wouldn’t let them, and if I couldn’t control them, I’d inconvenience myself by leaving, not everyone else by ignoring it.

            And if that isn’t rude enough, to the tall guy sporting the Bluetooth, really we all want to hear your overly loud one-sided conversation. I want to hear about what your wife has to say and what clients are bothering you and by all means I want to know when you’ll be able to meet for drinks.  I especially want to wait behind you in line while you hold up one finger signaling to the barista that your time is more important than hers or any of ours and that we should all wait for you to finish your “private conversation” so that you can order your drink.  God forbid you be polite and step aside so that those of us who have more important things to do than chat on the phone can get our cup of coffee and be on our way.

            All of you who have cell phone conversations in public, you do realize that phone conversations are designed to be between two people, or at most by a handful of people who have agreed to be part of a conference call?  The rest of us don’t want to be held hostage by your personal conversations.  Hard to believe I know, but not everyone thinks you are as interesting as you seem to think you are.

And to those of you fighting with your significant others while the rest of us are forced to listen in, you really should be careful about shouting out financial problems, institutions, home addresses, and phone numbers, someone who gives a damn might be listening.  And stop dropping the F bomb every five seconds.  First of all, it shows you as an ignorant idiot.  Secondly, the three kids sitting with their grandparents in the corner should not have to hear you pontificating with such obscene language.  Actually, none of us should.  Finally, where does the indignant attitude come from when people are staring?  Do you really expect the ten other people in this 20-foot by 40-foot room to pretend they can’t hear every single word you are broadcasting? You are the one shouting out obscenities and acting like a jerk.  We didn’t ask for this, so stop shooting us threatening looks every time our well justified annoyance registers on our faces. 

In my fantasies, I walk right up to these inconsiderate people and call them on it.  Excuse me, but do you know your daughter has just poured the milk all over the floor over there? You might want to get a paper towel and clean that up so no one else has to.  Or Sir, I am trying to work, would you mind taking your private phone conversation somewhere private.  Or dude, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?  No wonder your girlfriend thinks you’re a loser, but could you possibly berate her where the rest of us don’t have to listen to it? Just once, I’d like to scare up enough nerve to demand what used to be considered common courtesy.  Maybe some day I will, but for now, I’ll just bitch about it here and wait for that flood.